grandma shit on top of the toilet
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
