I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
