After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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