Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
