No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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