I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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