Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
