Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
