I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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