i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
