I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
