Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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