32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
