This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I understand Curling. That high.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
