I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
