Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
