I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
