A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
