That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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