Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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