i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
