so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think people are normalizing furries
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
