just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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