Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
