Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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