Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
