I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
