your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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