i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
