oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
