when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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