The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
