If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
