I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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