I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
