Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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