I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
