I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
