did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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