Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
