there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
