Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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