Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
