Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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