Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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