oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Boobs are out for the taking
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
