I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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