I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
