If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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