Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
