after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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