Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
